Self Esteem

What Is Self-Esteem?

Your self-esteem is not only how you feel about yourself in the present, it is how you asses yourself fundamentally through out the long term. If you have low self esteem, daily events can have a major influence on how you feel. For example, a kind gesture from a friend or a good day at work can make you feel great for a few days. And alternately a not so nice day can make you feel extremely low. And lets face it most days are uneventful and dull, so when you have low self esteem staying high can be a struggle! A good healthy self-esteem is based on accepting yourself for who you are - know who you are, and be content, like yourself!

Your Self-esteem Has Been...

Built and developed throughout out your entire life to this point in time now! And yes you guessed it, child hood had a huge impact on your self-esteem. All the pleasant, good, bad and ugly stuff that happened while growing up had an influence on how you rate yourself today. Healthy self-esteem will have been built from praise, respect and stable influences while growing up. People who were yelled at, regularly criticized, abused, given no positive attention, bullied etc, will have found it difficult to develop a healthy self-esteem. These are extreme examples, and subtle negative/positive experiences have a big impact also. Things happening that you don't necessarily remember, or didn't think much of can have been big influences also.

Argue With Your "Inner Voice" To Help Improve Self-Esteem

We all have an inner voice constantly chatting away inside our heads. It passes comment on everything we did/do/want to do. And for those with healthy self-esteem it reassures and compliments. For us with poor self-esteem the inner voice criticizes, puts us down and stands in our way! When you do something, like for example - compete in sport or go for a job interview, and some one praises you the inner voice will say something like "he was lying, you were terrible, don't bother next time". What you must do is contradict the inner voice, and snap back with something like - "He praised me because I did well, I might not have been perfect but win lose or draw I did my best and I'm proud of myself!"

Arguing with your inner voice will go along way towards improving your self-esteem, start now! Remember this, YOU are the boss, YOU are in control, don't let the critic within bring you down!

Using Positive Affirmations To Improve Self-Esteem

A positive affirmation is a positive statement about yourself. Use them in a meditation technique, as well as through each day by saying them to yourself in your mind. Ideally you want to relax at least once a day and just quietly repeat some positive statements to yourself - playing some relaxing music at the same time is real good help!

Examples of positive affirmations to improve self-esteem:

I am attractive

I am strong

I am special

I am a catch for every girl

I can talk to any girl comfortably


I am calm and composed with every girl


I am awesome

By repeating these things to yourself on a constant basis you have no choice but to believe them deep down! You will become these things, and that's improving self-esteem.

Self-Nurturing To Improve Self-Esteem

Self-nurturing is critical to improving self-esteem. Start by looking after yourself physically, by eating well, staying/getting into shape and having all the sleep you need - not too much and not too little.

Self-nurturing to improve self-esteem is making yourself feel worthwhile. Treat yourself regularly by doing fun and enjoyable things - especially when you've achieved something meaningful. You must reward yourself for accomplishments! Think of the things you like about yourself, and remind yourself constantly about them. Don't dwell or punish yourself for failing - reward yourself for trying in the first place. Remember to concentrate on the good and learn to forgive what you perceive to be the bad. Times when you don't feel good or positive are crucial, you must find things about yourself that are good no matter how small they might be! Improving self-esteem will come by doing these things. Acquiring help from loved ones can be a big help for improving self-esteem. Ask friends and family to tell you what they like about you. Ask them to be your release valve when you feel low or frustrated - by just listening when your letting off steam, this can be a huge help in improving self-esteem.

Your Environment Is Vital To Improving Self-esteem And Maintaining It

Being surrounded by warm, loving people is a huge factor in self-esteem. Now I know this isn't possible for a lot, not everyone has a caring friend and family network. However you must ensure that those you do have in your life accept you, and of course you must accept them for who they are. A feeling of acceptance will help you to realize that differences between people are okay. Relationships with others will be easier to build by understanding this. Bond with those you see and interact with every day, do this by simply talking, touching while talking, showing respect, listening, being supportive, and being honest. Liking those around you and knowing that they feel the same about you is a huge boost to ones self-esteem!

Criticism

Don't be sorry for who you are! If and when you're criticized, for what ever reason be sure to "judge" what is said to you before responding. Don't automatically apologize! If the criticism is fair then take it on board and respond by agreeing with the criticizer. If unfair then stand up to it, like with your inner voice. A well composed and self-possessed person will listen to criticism without interrupting and then respond. Be sure to give criticism at appropriate times, people with poor self-esteem often find it harder to give than to take. Don't let annoyances go until you "boil over", it's usually better to nip things in the bud. Be tactful and try not to hurt another persons' self-esteem. Use the word "I" not "you", example - I have trouble when that happens.

If you are not alpha, you are not getting girls!!

Before we can lay out the tips, it is important that we are clear on exactly what an alpha male actually is. Contrary to popular internet belief, they are not the ones who are loudest, rudest and obnoxious men on the block. They don't usually start fights or try to try to intimidate other guys around them. That guy is just an everyday common bully, and next to a real alpha, he comes across as just insecure and a bit sad.

If you really want to be on the top of your game, I'll give you some tips to help you get there, but you'll have to be willing to leave behind any dating "tricks" you may have tried in the past and look at things from a totally different perspective. Now let's get started.

In animals, there is no confusion about who is the alpha, because the order of the group is entirely determined by genes. The male that is the biggest, strongest and healthiest in the herd will be the alpha. Luckily for all of us, the "human animal" has evolved past this stage, and developed a new criteria for what it means to be an alpha male.

First of all, our society doesn't have one type of alpha that is the single ruler of everything. This is important to realize, because it makes things easier for you. I recently read an article in which the writer used the example of how in some environments, the alpha male would be different depending on what you were measuring by. It could be the president if you measured political power; it could be the head of the military if you measured "muscle" power; or it could be the richest man in the country if you measured financial power.

It is important to understand that you don't have to strive to be "the" alpha male, but rather "an" alpha male. In human society, you don't need to concern yourself too much with the other males around you; you don't have to compete with them to be an alpha, you only need to focus on what you are doing.

The best alpha male tips to attract women all involve building up your confidence. The alpha is completely comfortable in his own skin. He doesn't make excuses for who he is; he doesn't feel the need to prove to anyone how tough he is; and he certainly doesn't need to compete with or intimidate other guys. Why? Simple; he doesn't feel threatened by them.

In human culture, a confident leader doesn't need to fight for attention; he naturally has the attention of others and he doesn't feel insecure if someone else is in the spotlight.

Women are always drawn to the alpha male, not because of the way he looks or his cocky behavior, but because he radiates confidence and control. He makes women feel safe and protected. The guy who beats up other guys in bars doesn't -- women see guys like this as "loose canons," and they doesn't inspire confidence in those around him.

If you start working on your confidence you'll have a big advantage over most other guys out in the dating scene. Feeling confident always comes from within and never from outside of you. The better you feel in your own skin, the closer you are to becoming an alpha male.

Accepting both your strengths and weaknesses equally will lead to this kind of confidence. And here's one the best alpha male tips you can learn: if you adopt confident behavior, you will quickly learn to "feel" confident internally. In other words: "fake it 'til you make it."

So hold your head up high and "model" the behavior of other confident males. This is the easiest way to "become" an alpha yourself.

Get that X factor in you

Depending on the analyze carried out, system dialect accounts for anyplace involving 60% to 80% of your communication. Human body vocabulary plays an specifically crucial part in attraction. In fact, some studies have even stated that girls are ten times far better at reading human body vocabulary than guys!

In other words, if you want to enhance your attractiveness to girls, you possibly want to begin by fixing your entire body vocabulary.

Here's how to get began:

1. Slow lower

Deliberately make all of your movements a little slower than typical. Walk a tiny slower and speak more clearly. Pause a second or two prior to responding to a question. Quick erratic behaviors convey insecurity. It's essential that you remain cool. This is probably the single most crucial point you can do to convey that you are a higher standing alpha male. Slowing lower the entire body has a way of calming the head. Be trendy with your entire body dialect, and the thoughts will follow fit.

2. Posture

Probably, one particular of the most desirable traits that ladies look for in males is confidence. Alpha males are self-confident and other folks know it. A tall, self-confident, relaxed posture is crucial to conveying alpha male substantial standing. It should search pure, so don't above do it. Your shoulders must be pulled again with your chest somewhat pushed out. Your head must be relaxed but pulled up increased than common. Maintain your head up, or even somewhat tilted again. At 1st, adjusting your typical human body language habits may sense a bit not comfortable. Right after a although, your comfortable alpha male posture need to turn out to be an unconscious competence, and you will reap the rewards.

3. Facial expressions

Facial expressions are a extremely big component of entire body dialect. Train smiling a lot more gradually. This conveys a much much more genuine emotion. Get this correct and it performs like magic. You may well even want to train your smile in front of the mirror. Also, work on creating solid eye get in touch with with girls. You don't have to stare, but you shouldn't be seeking straight down or away when a woman is talking to you. Maintain your concentrate on her and what she has to say. Women notice guys who pay interest to them.

4. Prevent beta behaviors

A single of the easiest way to shed a woman's attraction is to convey insecure system dialect. The following must be avoided:
Nervous behaviors (fidgeting with your hands or fingers)
Being afraid to take up room (hands in pocket, arms folded, etc)
Looking down
Slouching
Searching not comfortable (tense facial expressions, erratic actions

If you want to be more successful at attracting stunning females, you initial require to convey appealing male characteristics. Finding out sturdy, alpha male entire body vocabulary is a fantastic start off and will transform the way females respond to you at an instinctive degree

What about online dating???

Online dating is a dating system through the Internet that brings individuals together to develop romantic relationship. There are various websites that offer online dating services like online chat, web casts and message boards. Members can upload their photos on these sites and also share their personal information with the members. Also, individuals can search for their partners on these websites according to the age, gender and location.

 
Online Dating Websites

Some online dating websites offer services open to people of all age groups and backgrounds but there are some dating websites such as freephonechatlines.biz, freephonechatline.net, chatline4free.com that also cater to specific communities, and people who wish to chat with partners of same ethnic background can become member of such sites.

Dating websites generally offer free registration and have security and privacy policies, and if any individual performs any illegal act then the account of the individual can be blocked from the site. It will be better to know and understand the rules of the websites and stick to the stated rules for the site.

Dating online through authentic sites is completely secured as the service providers have features of data protection registrars and also strict password system that protects accounts.

 
Online dating profile
The online dating profile of an individual helps in finding a perfect match. So, firstly select a username that is original and memorable, and also relates with your interests, background, location and personality. After that write an opening line that compels people to read on and find out more about you. Post a photo as majority of the people look for it when browsing through online dating profiles.

And fill the information form completely as it will provide one's basic information and details to the interested partner.

 
Writing online personal ads and email
While chatting online, you should be more expressive and communicative as this is the only medium to introduce yourself in the absence of body language. While chatting on a free online dating website, do not misspell words as the other one will perceive you sloppy or uneducated. If your partner is of different race then take care of his or her emotions to ensure long dating relationship period and also avoid using racial spurs.

 
Tips for Safe Online Dating

Online dating is a unique way to interact and meet different people whom we otherwise would not have been able to meet. But always be cautious while sharing personal information with the strangers online. It would always be better not to list out the last name and address on a dating website or even the name and location of the workplace, either. Also do not share any kind of your financial information.

If you have decided to meet your online partner then meet him at a place well known to you. It's better to know and interact more with each other online first. And do not meet anyone if you feel suspicious about him or there seems to be holes in his stories.

Developing a positive mindset

This is so very true !

This is an aspect which will not only affect your dating scene but your whole life- The way you think. Guys who are not very successful in the dating arena are generally grim, pessimistic and cynical. And this affects everything. You should always go around in life with a buoyant outlook. Be cheerful.
Now it’s easier said than done. Developing a positive mindset is simple but takes time and effort. The thing with it is that you have to make daily efforts for it. You can start by thinking positive and expecting positive. When you don’t have any idea what will happen in future, then why not be positive?
 

Invest in yourself. I tell this again and again. Investing in you is the best investment. Things you will learn will stay with you forever and you will reap high benefits out of it. Go take up some course, attend a seminar, and buy an eBook or audio book by people such as Anthony Robbins. It will totally change your life (In case you are seriously interested and want to know what you should take up leave a comment).
 

Now let me ask you a question. What do you focus on in life? At being a meek, pansy, timid and under confident guy? Or a high self esteem, confident and secured guy? Let me tell this right at your face, modern psychology has proved it, whatever you focus on, you will become. This is a very powerful statement. Read it again and hence be careful of what you focus on in the future.
 

How to get good thoughts? The best way is to look for good in everything because believe it or not, there is good in everything, we are just so pre occupied with seeing the negative that we lose sight of the positive in that situation. It is just our perception of the things. You can turn waiting in a traffic jam to time for some meditation in your car. See. It’s just the way we look at a thing. So take this advice seriously and search for positive things. Ignore everything else.
 

How will negative thoughts affect you? They will make you focus on your limitations and make you accept then as your part. They will hamper your thinking, confidence, everything. Gosh!! I don’t even need to tell you all this. Just stay away from such thoughts. Whenever any such thought comes simply brush it aside.
 

Now when you set out to changing yourself, it won’t be easy at all. It will be frustrating in fact. But be patient because such changes do not come overnight. It is said that subconscious mind takes 21 days to accept a new habit. That to when we work continuously for 21 days. So keep patience. The changes will occur slowly but they will happen. And once you change it, the new behavior is with you forever, helping you in every field. Believe me, it’s worth the effort.

                                                                                         To your success,

                                                                                         Your wingman

How do I approach women?

This seems to be one of the biggest question for guys and my response to that question is always the same...
...you go up to her directly! You should not waste any time.

A large number of men who are usually not skilled at picking up females prefer to think that they could approach a woman without her truly finding out exactly what their real goals are. This is really silly. Almost any lady you go up to is undoubtedly going to recognize straight away that you're trying to pick her up. The easiest thing to do is just let it go at that. Don't try to assume that it really is something other than what it really is.

There is a very significant factor you need to know whenever learning ways to approach a girl. Ladies who definitely are alluring are being approached each day, all day long! A beautiful girl is most likely approached around 9 times a day. That's a huge amount! And the technique that many guys use is indistinguishable to what almost every other fellow uses. They might ask her if she's got a man (using a tone of voice that says "you happen to be so great looking you simply would not date a failure like me") or they could simply say to her just how beautiful she is.

Trust me, she has experienced all of it. So consider this: If an appealing girl is approached 5 to 10 times daily that is beyond 250 times in one single calendar month. For the full year that might max out at over three thousand six hundred! Ya think that your any distinctive from the rest of the guys who may have approached her lately? You may well be nice-looking, captivating, fit, or brainy but so was a percentage of the other males who approached her. And those other fellas certainly were unable to be successful. So what can you do to improve the odds that you will not be unsuccessful?

When learning about how do you approach a girl you need to have a "strategy" for executing it adequately. Here's a nearly fool proof strategy for directly approaching a female that's confirmed to do the job: Move immediately up to her (and I actually do mean directly-don't chill around her needing an opportunity-you have got to set off right away) and say, "Hi, I don't have enough time to chat right at this moment, I'm somewhat in a hurry, but give me your phone number (or email address contact info) because I would like to converse with you." Now in order for this to work you'll want to declare it with severe self-confidence. If you're shy or odd when ever you do it she's going to not reply favorably. To make the strategy a lot more tangible pull out a bit of paper plus a pencil whenever you say it as if you did not possess any uncertainty that she will hand over to you her cell number (or e mail).

For everybody who is scared this may perhaps be a great deal harder than it appears to really accomplish. Appearing self conscious is a eligible man's most extreme problem. You will discover band-aid type techniques that can be used to help defend against the fear eventually. On the other hand, these really don't work over the long haul. The sole thing that will help you permanently prevail over any fear is to rehearse approaching ladies continuously until finally your self confidence increases (the true secret here is to ignore denial-there are way too many women across the country to get hung up on one).

The key here when learning how to approach a girl in public is to fake confidence. The very best way to do this is to pretend that you are an actor on a motion picture set. Or pretend to be someone else (now don't behave like someone else-just imagine that you're that individual). Pretend to be a self-assured and confident character from one of your favored TV shows or movies. Merely put yourself in what you think to be that character's frame of mind and play out a "scene" along with the lady you want to approach. You can actually practice this at home in the mirror (which might look unusual even so the more you rehearse the more normal its going to seem).
                                     
                                                                                                      To your success,
                                                                                                       Your Wingman

3 things girls look for in guys

Brad Pitt- Just look at the confidence!

Ok, First things first...I have read a lot of books, seen a lot of things, and experienced things first hand for myself. This is how I know what girls are looking for. There are 3 concepts you need to understand here. After you understand all 3 you can move on to the conclusion of this text.


First: Girls want a guy who is confident!

This is very important. Most guys who don't have a girlfriend are ones who lay low, let the girls find them. Also they don't show off! Now when I say show off I'm not saying show off like freakin' standing on your head and shit, no...what you must understand is confidence. You must show you have no fear of rejection. So when you see a tons hot chick in class...on the street...at work, what do you do? You go right up and ask them their name and number. Say something smooth, like, I'm going to a movie Saturday night, and I was wondering if you would like to join me? Babes dig a guy who is sure of himself...it allows them to let down their guard and feel secure. So just to sum it up for you all short like...A guy can have any chick he wants... The only catch is that they must know how to accomplish this. So, First thing, find a chick you dig. When you are feeling totally confident (If your not, pretend! Come on...be a good actor!) Stroll up to her ask her what her name is and go for it! Now if you understand the jest of what I have just said, You are thinking of nothing more than to be confident & smooth. Great, now you understand the first concept.

What if's:

Ok, stop right there! I know a lot of you are reading this and thinking...hey its not that easy...There is a lot I don't know. What if she has a boyfriend and he wants to beat the bloody-piss out of me for hitting on her?...What if she thinks I'm ugly?... What if I look stupid and piss my fuckin' pants? You know what I say? Screw it, you can't be worried about that shit...life goes on! Even if you do get the bloody-piss kicked out of you, well you tried (but odds are if she has a boyfriend, she will just tell you and it will end there). So fuck all the what ifs and go for it!

Second: The 30-second rule!

Ok, next one is very short and sweet. A girl will decide within the first 30 seconds of meeting you if she will do you. Its that simple, make a good impression at the very beginning and it will all go well for you when it comes time for gettin' down! Or going down...or whatever you do!

What if I have screwed that up already...Like there is this chick I want, but she probably already thinks I'm stupid and shit?
   
Well, there is another what if, but ok I will answer it. If she already has the frame of mind that you will never do for a sex partner (and you know this for sure, if you don't you need to find out) then you need not keep trying.

By the way...I want to say one other thing. If you are the type of guy who gets a girl drunk so you can have your way with them...I hope I never see you, because I will rip off your fuckin' balls. That shit just isn't right! Remember that.

Third: Girls don't want nice guys, they want alpha males!

For all you nice guys out there, don't feel left out just yet...this includes you too. A lot of you have probably been saying that girls only like just losers and assholes...the ones who get into a lot of trouble and couldn't add 2 and 2. Well it seems that way, But its only half way true. Girls want a guy who they can reform. Yes! What that means is that they want someone who they can make change for them...Like if they are bad (like the ones listed above) they want to try to make them change into good boys that will protect and love them.This would be the ultimate sign of love for a girl. But most commonly, a trouble maker guy who is a jerk, and a freakin' asshole will only change for a while in order to get some. Then he will go right back to his old ways. So what I am saying is (like back in concept 1) don't just sit back and not try,(you don't have to be a fuckin' jerk) Just be cool and smooth and a girl will interpret that as being a bad boy (in there eyes). So good boys!, listen up, just get more confident and try again and again. Trust me you will have a date in no time at all. I promise.

Conclusion: So just remember, be cool and confident...act like nothing is going to sink your boat, then try for a chick. Make sure you are delivering the first impression that will score you a hot Saturday night date (Remember the second concept!). Next, just act like you are the shit, no one is better than you...you are funny, and charming. After you have a chick enjoy the work you have done. Now this next thing is most important...treat her with respect and love her. I hope you have a great relationship!

                                                                                               To your success
                                                                                               Your Wingman.

The purpose of this blog.

Hi there everyone. This is my first post to the blog and before I start with the main content of the blog I would like to explain the purpose of this blog.

In my everyday life and among my friends I daily see guys trying to talk to girls, approaching them and almost all the time failing in it. These guys then come back and bitch about the fact that she was so arrogant , rude, blah..blah..I talked to her so nicely and she paid no heed. In other situations. where you are introduced to another girl or you don't directly approach her, guys still screw up any chance they can have with those girls. There is nothing wrong with those girls but everything is wrong with you. How? That I'll show you in my later blog posts. I'll be pointing out the exact areas and tell you where to make the change. Also, why to make the change. This blog is totally dedicated to such guys. And even if you are a stud among girls this blog will surely help you with the nuances.

The main reason I have started this blog is that I feel disappointed day after day seeing things like these happening. Personally I have talked to many guys but I thought it is now time I make a bigger impact. All the information I plan to share with you is free. You just have to commit to me that you will seriously read all that I write and apply into your life. It will take effort but you will do it. You will take action. So, if you are with me on this. If you are ready to make the commitment, I promise you that you will soon be seducing the most gorgeous girl you have ever seen.

                                                                                                     To your success
                                                                                                     Your Wingman.